I was at the gym the other day (isn’t that a cool thing to say, “hey, I was at the gym the other day, yeah, I was, I really was!” it’s so hard to follow a regimen and wake up early and go to the gym in the morning, but when my friends ask me to join them I’ll never say no, a man has got an ego to uphold…) and I’m minding my own business, I finished working out and checking myself (or women in tight clothing) out in the mirrors… so I start getting ready for my shower. Now whenever men are changing in the locker room, there’s the whole “I have naked men all around me and I don’t wanna look” thing going on, where you walk around naked (so you don’t look like you’re still in high school) but you still kinda feel uncomfortable… after 15 yrs of going to the gym, it’s still there – I thought I’d get immune to getting tunnel vision as scores of naked men walk past me, but I just can’t shake it – I don’t wanna see naked guys! I LOVE looking at naked women… and women, even though they don’t admit it, MUST love looking at naked women… but naked guys, it’s just not right, the male body ain’t sexy when it’s naked and walking around and things are all over the place…
ANYWAY so I see this guy, combing his hair, mafia style (you know, like both hands on the comb, fully concentrated on each and every hair as it gets placed by the passing comb…) except, he’s totally naked, in front of a full body mirror.
Ok, did you read what I just wrote? Go back and read it, or here it is again: the guy is nude, combing his hair as if he was going to his wedding, and he is in front of a full mirror – and it’s 8:30am and the locker is full of men getting ready for work…
UHM….. WHAT THE HELL?!
Put on a freaking pair of underwear pal, I didn’t look at his crotch, but the scene was absurb and obscene all at once, even from the back… it would have made for a good parody of a tacky calendar for women… but c’mon on man, have some decency.. it reminded me of the man I saw in the metro that was clipping his toe nails… yes, he was sitting there in the Montreal Subway system (which seems to have a glitch: the new tourniquet’s are 1 second late, causing everyone to slam into them after swiping their passes, a funny observation until it happens to you, over… and over…anyway -) so he is sitting there, clipping his toe nails – the fast that there happened to be someone sitting across from him eating a sandwich just made it all seem even more unreal… the crap people do in public… shouldn’t there a law against disturbing people’s visions?
Speaking of visions, apparently there are unisex locker rooms in Austria and Germany! I actually lived in Austria for 2 months, and had I known about this, I would have spent most of my time at the gym, in the locker room, more specifically, the showers… visualizing… yes yes, the showers, ladies and gentlemen (how fitting) are for men and women, to share! So you’d be bench pressing at 8:05am, then waving at the cute girl next to you at 8:07am, then at 8:10am you’re SHOWERING’ naked, right next to her… nice nice very nice, as Borat would say “I liiike!” I think this is where I’m supposed to stop fantasizing and get back to work… just had 2 write this down…
I'm grateful for not being a member at THIS gym...
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