Recent news of Jack Neo’s infidelity (dominating the headlines in Asia) probably lead many of us to ask the question, why do men cheat on their partners? Here are the top 10 reasons most commonly cited:
1. Because he can
This is probably the most straightforward reason. Because he can. Put it this way, if you put a piece of the best tuna steak in front of the best trained cat in the world, the cat will still eat the fish when no one is looking.
2. Because cheating boost his ego
Some studies suggest that men are born hunters. Men need the thrill of the chase to see the fulfilling adrenaline rush, and a successful hunt will boost his ego. Men who are in relationships for many years tend to feel bored and may even think that they are becoming less attractive to the opposite sex. Using the cat and tuna example, if a tuna jumps towards the cat itself willingly, this trigger the thought in the man’s mind that he is wanted and it will bring out the hunter (or some say devil horns) in him.
3. You drifted apart
As his partner, you used to love to play that World of Warcraft game with him. Or you used to cheer the same football/soccer team with your guy. But since don’t know when, you are no longer interested in all his hobbies or toys or interests. This is the time that Men are vulnerable and just like cats who want to play, if any one else come along and would like to play with them at this moment, you would have lost him.
4. He no longer loves you forever
When Men no longer love their existing partners, they will immediately start to look outwards for alternatives. Even though they may still be physically staying with you out of responsibilities or commitments, do not cross your fingers or hope for the best. If they are not cheating, they are probably planning to consciously or not.
5. You start to have a lot of arguments and quarrels
To Men who are mostly creatures of ego, constant bickering and disagreements with him is a sure way to push him away to the arms of someone else.
6. Your sex life is non-existent
There is the saying that Men think with their loins. And to many Men, love is expressed through sex. If there is no longer any passion in your relationship, there is no love for him, and therefore there is a high chance that he is getting his passion ignited by someone else.
7. He is looking for excitement (attention)
Some people suggested that this could be the reason Men cheat with people that many other people think are less attractive then their existing partner. These other women could even be their domestic help or maids. The other women tend to lavish him with much more attention, or simply making more visible efforts. The Men, especially those who do not have enough hobbies to distract him will bound to get bored and become distracted.
8. Just trying
Sometimes, keeping bad company do lead Men astray. When his friends are geting away with it, or if he see his parents doing it in the past, he may just want to try to see if he pull it off as well.
9. If you’ve allow him to cheat on you before
This may sound strange, but there are women who know that their husbands/partners are cheating but actually choose to close one eye, i.e. to let him do it without kicking up a fuss (for the sake of children, finance, family pressure). And if Men has done it before and was forgiven in the process, he will very likely attempt cheating on his partner again, and again.
10. If you cheated on him before
To Men, he simply wants to exact revenge. You may not have actually cheated and he may just be acting on a hunch. Once he feels like there is injustice, he will embark on a campaign to cheat you back.
The lovely and talented Marian Stafford, Playboy’s Miss March 1956, is adorable and also full of all kinds of noteworthiness.
Photographed by Ruth Sondak.
First, Ms. Stafford was the first gatefold model to get a three page pull-out centerfold: the real deal, the whole fold-out enchilada. This has obviously become a trademark of not just Playboy but a widely-copied staple of the porn mag world as a whole. Way to go, twinkie!
Unusually, as you can see from the above caption, the lead credited photographer of Ms. Stafford’s shoot was a woman. Ruth Sondak seems to have been an active New York photographer on whom I am having trouble finding complete biographical data.
I found this link to an interview about Greenwich Village anti-Vietnam War protesters, which had circa-70’s pictures credited as being taken by Ruth accompanying the article, and a 1993 NYT obit that included a picture of a famous educator that was photographed by Ruth in New York in 1972. The links to the photos in both the obit and the war-resisters’ page were no longer active, so I can’t even say I have seen other pictures by her other than these of Ms. Stafford. That’s about all I got on that angle so far. I’ll keep digging.
Okay, so you may be wondering why Ms. Stafford is ripping up a TV Guide in the two color shots of this spread. It’s not a Sinead O’Connor protest or anything — Ms. Stafford was first “discovered” on the boob-tube in the audience of a show, and became a main stage attraction herself not long after.
This month’s Playmate is a little girl with big television aspirations. Her name is Marian Stafford and she packs a lot of woman into 5′3″. She wants to be an actress, but so far most of her TV experience has been confined to smiling prettily in commercials for products like Tintair, Pall Mall and Jantzen; she has helped advertise Revlon on The $64,000 Question and RCA Victor on the video version of Our Town. She has had a walk-on in a Kraft Theater production and small speaking parts in two Robert Montgomery shows. (“Playboy’s TV Playmate,” Playboy, March 1956.)
But her most unique television experience is as a human test pattern for Max Leibman spectaculars, where she spends hours before NBC color cameras during rehearsals and is never seen by the audience. (Ibid.)
Ms. Stafford did make it back in front of cameras, regularly appearing on shows such as The $64,000 Question and Treasure Hunt. Her adorable pretty-princess looks and sweet nature also scored her the part of Mistress of Ceremonies on the 11-episode children’s story hour show The Big Fun Carnival in 1957. Get it, girl!
One of the coolest parts of this issue was a short story by Ray Bradbury titled “The First Night of Lent,” about a good-natured and laconic Irish driver named Nick whom a writer employs while he is working on a screenplay in Dublin. The driver gives up drinking for Lent and becomes a reckless maniac, incapable of sorting through the richness of life’s sensory overload and focusing on one thing at a time: he needs alcohol to make it through the day, because the Irish are such finely tuned, sensitive beings that sobriety is an innavigable misery to them. At the end, the screenplay writer gives Nick money and begs him to start drinking again. It’s a mainly classist and racist but still kind of fun story, and Ray Bradbury is my all-time favorite sci-fi writer of all time* so I let him off the hook, cultural pride notwithstanding.
excerpt from the googlebooks. give it a spin, dudes, and please consider writing to your congressmen urging them to protect free lit on the net! LIBRARIES FOREVER!
Marian Stafford is one of the few playmates to model both as the gatefold and cover girls. Do you get the cover idea? The bunny is a producer watching her do her NBC color-test job. Super-cute. Again — get it, girl!
*Nickel in the mail to the first person who gets the “all-time-favorite of all time” movie line reference.
this morning i dreamed of my self going to an empty pool. in that pool i can se the terrace of our neighbor who was my crush. when i realized that there was a shadow and voice in that place. i hide my self.
i heard a male voice that talking to a younger female voice. i thought that was my crush and the girl was my childhood friend. I wasn’t really sure because all i could see were silhouettes. what i did was wrapped my body and ran inside of our house. which actually not exactly our house in real world.
*****
my analysis – i’m longing for someone but even in trying/ prospect or possibilities i’m hiding myself. too afraid to show my self.
in reality – my crush is living now in the other part of the globe and my friend is now happy with her family in a far province.
Australian officials have launched an investigation into allegations that sailors on board a navy ship were running a sex competition during an overseas deployment last year.
The Defense Department says the inquiry that began Friday comes after an initial investigation was found to be biased.
Three sailors from the HMAS Success were sent home last May after reports emerged that sailors were competing to have sex with the most number of female crew mates. The investigation will look into allegations that dollar values were assigned to each woman on board and that sailors could win extra money if they had sex with a female officer or a lesbian.
“Nothing is more essential to the establishment of manners in a State than that all persons employed in places of power and trust must be men of unexceptionable characters.” –Samuel Adams
The Demo-gogues
Former Rep. Eric Massa
Political bathhouse: “I was in the congressional gym, and I went into the showers which, by the way, I for the life of me can’t figure out why they took all the shower curtains off the shower stalls in the congressional shower. The last thing I want to look at is my fellow colleagues naked, but they don’t have shower curtains down in the gym, and I’m sitting there showering naked as a jaybird and here comes Rahm Emanuel not even with a towel wrapped around his tush, poking his finger in my chest yelling at me because I wasn’t going to vote for the president’s budget. Do you know how awkward it is to have a political argument with a naked man?” –former Rep. Eric Massa (D-NY), who is accused of sexually harassing male staffers and resigned Monday
More accusations: “Rahm Emanuel is son of the devil’s spawn. He is an individual who would sell his mother to get a vote. He would strap his children to the front end of a steam locomotive.” –Eric Massa
Changing the tune: “I wasn’t forced out. I forced myself out.” –Massa on Tuesday night
Non Compos Mentis: “[W]e have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it, away from the fog of the controversy.” –House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), confirming that too much Botox can kill brain cells …
Tell a lie often enough: “Health insurance reform is about jobs. This legislation alone will create 4 million jobs.” –Pelosi, repeating her lie from the summit
Changing the climate: “What we have to do is go on the offensive. [The science on climate change] has been maligned and misinterpreted, and we need to fight back… [P]eople [need to] stop being moved by these talk show [hosts] and start looking for the facts themselves.” –Sen. John Kerry (D-MA)
It’s all about jobs: “What we are talking about is a jobs bill. It is not a climate bill. It is a jobs bill, and it is a clean air bill. It is a national security, energy independence bill.” –John Kerry on cap-n-tax
“[E]very decision, every debate, no matter how important it is, with the same question: ‘What does this mean for the next election? What does it mean for your poll numbers? Is this good for the Democrats or good for the Republicans? Who won the news cycle?’ That’s just how Washington is. They can’t help it. They’re obsessed with the sport of politics.” –Barack Obama, who isn’t a bit different
“Today is a big day in America. Only 36,000 people lost their jobs today, which is really good.” –Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (See the video.)
Editorial Exegesis
“The strange case of New York Democrat Eric Massa keeps getting stranger. Rep. Massa resigned last week under a cloud of ethics charges, but he now claims he was pushed out for opposing health care reform. Massa claims he’s being investigated by the House Ethics Committee on trumped-up charges that he sexually harassed a male aide. If true, it shows the White House and Congress are indeed being run the ‘Chicago Way’ — with bluster, threats and even physical intimidation. Wasn’t this administration supposed to be different? Let’s be clear: We don’t know for sure the White House did anything illegal. But if any of Massa’s claims is true, it speaks volumes about the thuggery of an administration desperately trying to pass its wildly unpopular health care bill. For his part, Massa says Obama aide Rahm Emanuel went ballistic when he dared to vote against ObamaCare last November. With health care hanging by a string, Emanuel and the House leadership bullied him into resigning last Wednesday, Massa now claims. ‘Mine is now the deciding vote on the health care bill,’ the one-term congressman told radio station WKPQ Sunday. ‘And this administration and this House leadership have said, quote-unquote, they will stop at nothing to pass this health care bill. And now they’ve gotten rid of me, and it will pass. You connect the dots.’ … White House and House Democratic leaders have all issued denials. So, for now, the political row has a ‘he said-she said’ quality. But if what Massa says is even partly true, and it certainly seems plausible, this is gangsta politics, Chicago-style — a case of political bullies making an example of someone to get others to fall into line. Al Capone would be proud.” –Investor’s Business Daily
Upright
“The more we come to rely on government, the fewer freedoms we will enjoy. Government will start dictating what we can own, eat and drive, how much of our money they will let us keep, how we run our businesses, how many — if any — guns we can own, and what we may and may not say. Oh, wait! They are already doing that. To preserve freedom we must fight for it.” –columnist Cal Thomas
“True rights, such as those in our Constitution, or those considered to be natural or human rights, exist simultaneously among people. That means exercise of a right by one person does not diminish those held by another.” –economist Walter E. Williams
“With their backs to the wall, Democratic leaders are preparing a complicated plan to pass their national health care bill. Standing in the way are Democrats who oppose the bill, whether on principle or out of fear that voting for a wildly unpopular measure will spell defeat for them in November. If you think House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is going to let them off easy, allowing them to kill the party’s top policy priority in more than a generation — well, that’s not gonna happen. Democrats who are considering voting against the bill are about to experience arm-twisting, threats, and pressure like they’ve never experienced.” –columnist Byron York
“In my entire career, I have never been as confounded as I am over President Obama and the Democratic leadership’s obsession with a piece of legislation that not one major national poll has shown to be popular. … So I have to ask, why are the president and the leaders of Congress willing to see their entire party and a multitude of other policy proposals go down in flames over something that the public can’t stand? … Folks, this is nothing more than a power grab. It’s an effort to take one of the most essential elements of every person’s life — their health — and put it under the control of government.” –columnist Matt Towery
“The president cannot show us he is looking out for our interests and our future by forcing a quick, partisan vote on an issue that will impact not only this time but generations to come. This is especially true since he was so adamant in his opposition to using this very parliamentary measure in governance during his campaign. And he cannot show us that he is listening when polls show that only 35-40 percent of Americans support this bill.” –radio talk-show host Michael Reagan
Dezinformatsia
Delusions from a parallel universe: “Campaign promises are about getting elected; once there, they are quickly forgotten. Courage is not a word you hear very often in discussions about politics. Not Barack Obama. Whether or not you support or even understand his health care plan — and the polls suggest that right now most Americans don’t — you must admit this: Obama is a man who does everything humanly possible to keep his promises. He promised health care reform, and he is risking his presidency to deliver it. If that’s not courage, what is?” –political commentator Susan Estrich (Try blind ideology.)
Oh no! “Now that we have finally arrived at the do-or-die moment for Obama’s signature issue, we face the alarming prospect that his presidency could be toast if he doesn’t make good on a year’s worth of false starts. And it won’t even be the opposition’s fault. If too many Democrats in the House defect, health care will be dead.” –New York Times columnist Frank Rich
Propaganda FAIL: “John Patrick Bedell, whom authorities identified as the gunman in the Pentagon shooting on Thursday, appears to have been a right-wing extremist with virulent antigovernment feelings.” –Christian Science Monitor staff writer Peter Grier (Oops, Bedell was a registered Democrat and an anti-Bush 9/11 “truther.”)
Rather racist: “One, part of the undertow in the coming election is going to be President Obama’s leadership. And the Republicans will make a case and a lot of independents will buy this argument. ‘Listen he just hasn’t been, look at the health care bill. It was his number one priority. It took him forever to get it through and he had to compromise it to death.’ And a version of, ‘Listen he’s a nice person, he’s very articulate’ — this is what’s been used against him — ‘but he couldn’t sell watermelons if it, you gave him the state troopers to flag down the traffic.’” –HDNet’s Dan Rather trying to put words in Republicans’ mouths
Newspulper Headlines:
Now All We Have Left Is Change: “Closure of Hope Plant to Cost 50-60 Jobs” –Associated Press
We Blame Global Warming: “Obama Turns Up Heat for Health Care Overhaul Plan” –Associated Press
Everything Seemingly Is Spinning Out of Control: “Subprime Mortgage Crisis Hits Whorehouses” –Human Events
Bottom Stories of the Day: “Gore Still Hot on His Doomsday Rhetoric” –Boston Globe
(Thanks to The Wall Street Journal’s James Taranto)
Village Idiots
You don’t say: “I have thus far failed, and our world has thus fair failed to respond adequately to this crisis.” –Algore on his efforts to educate the world about climate change
Unsolicited advice: “I understand you may be looking to replace Rahm Emanuel as your chief of staff. I would like to humbly offer myself, yours truly, as his replacement. I will come to D.C. and clean up the mess that’s been created around you. I will work for $1 a year. I will help the Dems on Capitol Hill find their spines and I will teach them how to nonviolently beat the Republicans to a pulp. And I will help you get done what the American people sent you there to do.” –from an open letter to BO from crockumentarian Michael Moore
Useful idiot: “Every day, this elected leader is called a dictator here, and we just accept it, and accept it. … [T]ruly, there should be a bar by which one goes to prison for these kinds of lies.” –actor Sean Penn on his buddy Hugo Chavez, Venezuelan dictator (No wonder they get along so well!)
In need of remedial history: “Back in World War II, we viewed the Japanese as ‘yellow, slant-eyed dogs’ that believed in different gods. They were out to kill us because our way of living was different. We, in turn, wanted to annihilate them because they were different. Does that sound familiar, by any chance, to what’s going on today?” –actor Tom Hanks promoting his upcoming HBO miniseries “The Pacific”
Somehow not comforting: “Believe me, if we were charting this administration as a political exercise, the first thing we would have done would not have been a massive recovery act, stabilizing the banks and helping to keep the auto companies from collapsing. Those would not even be the first hundred things he would want to do.” –White House adviser David Axelrod
Short Cuts
“Nancy Pelosi, the speaker and leader of the San Francisco Democrats, says her members ‘are very excited about what comes next.’ For many of them, that’s ‘excited’ as in ‘hysterical.’” –Washington Times editor emeritus Wesley Pruden
“So there was President Obama giving his bazillionth speech on health care, droning yet again that ‘now is the hour when we must seize the moment,’ the same moment he’s been seizing every day of the week for the past year, only this time his genius photo-op guys thought it would look good to have him surrounded by men in white coats.” –columnist Mark Steyn
“President Obama met with ten House Democrats opposed to the health care bill. He did all he could to get their votes. He promised to campaign for them in their districts and when that didn’t work, he threatened to campaign for them in their districts.” –comedian Argus Hamilton
“These self-anointed intellectuals are people who think that those who believe in God and Jesus Christ, those who ‘cling to their guns and their religion,’ are a lower form of animal life, while they, themselves, have no problem whatever accepting Obama as a messiah and, in the past, deifying the likes of Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton. Let’s face it, when you kneel in a church, you’re accepting that there is something greater and wiser than yourself in the universe. When, on the other hand, you kneel to a left-wing politician, you’re merely emulating Monica Lewinsky.” –columnist Burt Prelutsky
Since my current show opened I feel like I’ve had no time. I think its a combination of having to come in during the day for extra hours to deal with sound issues (I hate Cricket and the DS laptop!!) in the first week and it being a long show. I’d really like to be able to walk home each night after the show since this is the last one I’m operating until winter but I’m now running the show off my laptop and I don’t really want to carry it home each night. One of the cast from the next show, which I’m lighting designing, got mugged up the street from the theatre in broad daylight the other day.
I have fitted some fun stuff in though.
The first Sunday after it opened I went to Mardi Gras Fair Day with Charli. That was really cool. We went to the Femme Guild stall and saw Asha which I’ve already blogged about. It was a very cruisey day. We went on the dodgems-
Ate lots of fair food-
And saw lots of very gay dogs-
The following Saturday I went along to Simon’s “Meet my fiancée” picnic and met Tracy who was visiting from Chicago. She wasn’t as bubbly and outgoing as I expected but I’ve since found out that she didn’t really like Sydney so maybe that’s why. We talked for quite a while on facebook last night and she does seem really lovely. Apparently Simon is being really cute with all the wedding stuff like choosing a favourite flower etc. I laughed a lot at that. We talked a lot actually, it was really nice. My first impression of her at the picnic was that she’s really really American. Her accent is so thick! I kind of expected to see whatever is so amazing about her to make Simon change so much and I didn’t. I mean she seems lovely but I wasn’t as blown away as Simon obviously is. I guess that’s not surprising, I just obviously expected that I’d walk away saying “yeah I’d marry her too!” She also didn’t seem that super keen to meet his friends. I guess tho she’d been there a week by that stage and had been living with Caz and Tommy who were there at the picnic. So it’s was just me really, she wasn’t as excited about meeting me as I was about meeting her. That makes sense though. She’s Simon’s exciting whirlwind American fiancée whereas I’m one of a bunch of his friends. But after talking to her last night I feel like I know her a bit better and I do genuinely like her. I’m actually a bit disappointed they’re going to live in the states because I would like to hang out with them both.
Last Monday I was photographed naked at the opera house with 5000 other people as part of the Mardi Gras Festival. Event info here. News coverage and photos here.I think this experience needs a blog entry of its own so I’ll get around to that sometime.
Last week week I also had cupcakes with Sian and lunch with Asha both of which were lovely. The lunch with Asha was full of really interesting conversation. We talked a lot about sex, sexual politics, identity, brothels (she’s a receptionist in one) and other really meaty interesting things. I also found out she and Matt once hooked up. I was a little unimpressed because Matt had brought her up as someone that might be fun to play with and when I asked why he thought that he said she just seemed fun, he didn’t say he had first hand knowledge of it. He didn’t lie, he just wasn’t upfront. When I asked him about it he gave me the details including the fact that he was still with his last girlfriend when it happened which is possibly why he didn’t mention it earlier. I’m not sure what to think of him. He’s generally a really nice guy and when I ask him things about other girls he tells me, he doesn’t offer but most people wouldn’t. I’m just not sure if he’s a nice guy who can’t be monogamous but tries not to hurt people in the process or a prick who comes across as being nice to get what he wants. Maybe you can’t break things down into good and bad like that but I don’t know if I should trust him as much as I do. I mean we’re not in a relationship so I can only expect so much and in many ways I’m glad of that, if we were actually together there would just be more rules for him to potentially break. I guess I just think that he’s a nice enough guy and he appreciates our arrangment enough that he probably won’t deliberately do something really bad and hurt me and throw it all away. That doesn’t take into account him doing stupid things and thinking he won’t get caught though…. Meh I like hanging out with him, the sex is great and whatever will happen will happen. I think I should think about it less.
Oh! Bent has a scene in it where they eat soup. The stuff they’re using has barley in it which reminded me of lamb stew. I was craving it every night so I made some and it’s awesome! I also made coconut pancakes with caramelised bananas. Also awesome.
We get together with people because they are the same or because they are different. And in the end, we split with them for exactly the same reasons.
–Tucker
Technically Moira was right. It was him. He wore a condom.
–Annie about not having children
There’s never been a better time to do something about your weight.
Actually, what you tell yourself most likely is that “I’ll begin eating better on Monday” or “I’ll start working out on the 10th, because blah blah blah blah”. Those are empty promises you’re making to yourself, because really, there’s never a good time. It’s not your love for chocolate and mac and cheese that’s been holding you back, although that’s been your mantra for quite some time. You’ve been avoiding this as if somebody told you that going naked to work is the new dress code. And why? Because of FEAR. Did you know that fear is the strongest motivator? People will do anything to avoid something that frightens them. Even if the thing that they’re doing is destructive.
Now, I’m not talking about bone chilling fear, the kind that you would get if you heard a serial killer was living next door. I’m talking about another kind of fear that everyone has. For instance, I have a fear of public speaking. I start shaking, my stomach gets butterflies, I feel hot, the whole thing feels surreal, and my voice starts to warble. I definitely would try to avoid this at all costs. Many of you who keep putting off changing your lifestyle to take off the weight that’s been bothering you for years have fear. Even if you’ve tried numerous times to shed the pounds, but can’t seem to do it, something is holding you back. There are many ways that fear manifests itself, let’s look at 4 of them.
Fear Of Failure:
It’s a bold move to admit that you’re overweight and need to do something to finally commit to breaking up with Ben & Jerry once and for all. “What if I don’t succeed? What if I fail and give up and never lose the weight? What will people think?”, you say to yourself. These are totally understandable thoughts when facing something that seems bigger than you, but if you never do anything to change it then nothing will ever change.
Fear of Losing Your Identity:
Many people who have been “big-boned” their whole lives hold this as their identity and forming a new image could be a very scary thing to face . This is what you’re known for and this is what people notice about you. You’ve gotten used to it and there’s a possibility that people will form new judgments of you and treat you differently.
Fear of Obligation:
Deciding to live a healthier and fitter lifestyle is a big undertaking and can seem very daunting. With work, relationships, kids, and finances, we’re faced with so many commitments as it is and adding another can seem too hard. It’s easier to just give up then truly invest the time, money, and mental focus.
Fear of Facing Reality:
For so many people emotional eating is a way to cope with hidden insecurities and anxieties. It acts as a protective shield that masks underlying feelings that are easier to literally stuff away with food than deal with. Food is comforting, consistent, and will never judge you. This one takes massive courage and is probably the hardest one of all to conquer, but I promise that it is doable with a little hope and support.
For this week’s challenge, conquer your fear. As I mentioned above, fear is just False Evidence Appearing Real. Whenever we think about possible outcomes to a situation our mind will always take us to the worse-case scenario, and that worst case is what keeps holding us back. But, what if you challenged your thoughts and feelings and took a chance on seeing for yourself if that worse-case is reality or if you’re just avoiding change? Is it really worth avoiding if you’re unhappy and struggling anyway? Imagine what your life could be like if you just took a chance and uncovered what the future holds. What if the new you is even better? You might finally rid yourself of that ball and chain that’s been holding you prisoner for so long. Unleash the new you and finally discover true happiness and freedom.
I want you to make a list of the things that are really holding you back from losing weight. It’s not your love for food or your busy schedule. You can love food, but still be a healthy weight. Find out what it is that’s keeping you from fully living life to its fullest and being the happiest that you can be. Once you have your list, find the thing that is the easiest to work on and DO IT! I am always here if you need some support and encouragement, so all you have to do is ask. It might be difficult and it might be scary, but I promise you that you can do this.
Time and time again I’ve empowered myself by the struggles and fears that I’ve faced and have been able to overcome, and I’ve proven to myself that the things that I’ve been afraid of all along weren’t even worth it. Now I look at fear as a challenge that I know I can conquer and will never hold me back. When I have a list of things to do the first thing I check off is the easiest thing on there, but right after that I do the hardest. Once I put that out of the way I know that everything else is a cinch compared to it. Love yourself and stop letting your weight hold power over you. Don’t you want to just get off this roller coaster once and for all and feel free?
I didn’t know really what sort of response to expect to my post about anal sex. We don’t get a lot in the way of comments on this blog. The only way we know if it is a popular topic is if their is a spike in the numbers of people visiting a particular post. And there was a spike for this one! Not only that, but quite a few people clicked through and purchased anal toys! I am impressed! I love experimental people.
Sex is fun, and sex toys are just an added dimension to that fun. Whether you are using them alone, as a partnership or group, they are used to enhance the sensations that you are feeling, or to provide a stimulus that is different to the norm, or a stimulus that you wouldn’t normally get. They allow you to experiment, and to find out more about yourself. And finding more about yourself, and your partner(s), and communicating what you know, is the best thing you can do for your sexlife!
Don’t be afraid to explore, and remember, Lube Is Your Friend!
Even at the tiny school I go to, not everyone realizes there is a figure drawing class. In the last year I’ve had a surprising number of people ask me about it, giggling & blushing, & it’s time to clear a few things up.
“So figure drawing is where you draw, uh, like, naked people?”
Yes. It’s actually much harder to draw people clothed, so you classically start with the nude.
“You draw naked people for a whole semester?”
Yes, a whole semester. Sounds crazy, but a lot of people are surprised, thinking that once you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all, or something. But between gender, age, build, ethnicity, & so on, there is no exhaustive way to approach the field. You rotate between models, ideally getting equal time with each gender. (Age is a little harder to get decent variation on, unfortunately. I hope to get some exposure to different aged models in the future, because from what my colleagues tell me, it’s a lot harder to work outside of your “age-bracket,” because you are unknowingly so familiar with your own body & those of your peers.)
“Is it. . . uncomfortable?”
A good model knows how to make it comfortable. A good artist knows how to make it comfortable. If both artist & model are mutually dedicated to the task at hand, & aren’t approaching it as something weird or taboo, it goes smoothly. A good model knows his limits in holding a pose (or a good instructor can guide him). You chat with them before & after the session or during a break & you become acclimated to the model/artist dynamic. tl;dr, maybe, but you get used to it.
“What if it’s a student or a friend?”
People are weirded out by seeing their peers naked, but you have to understand you’re both there willingly. My giggling, blushing peers asking me this are probably imagining this “you’re naked, I’m not” instance. Yeah, that’d be weird. But that’s not it. It’s “we’re here to work, let’s get to it.” & yes, sometimes it’s weird the first time you see them outside the studio, but, again, you just get used to it.
“Were the models hot?”
I wasn’t there to assess that. There’s also a sort of myth that models do it because they think they’re “hot,” but I don’t think someone that base would bother to learn the technique. They might have an interest in art or aesthetics, or have been on the observer side before, or just need a little more money, I dunno. Let’s just say you don’t take the course because you want to see hot, naked people. That’s why the internet was invented, remember?
“Oh my gosh, did any of the guys ever get a [insert crude word for erection]?”
No. Not once.
“Do you draw their genitals?”
Yes. But you can pretend we insert fig leaves if it helps you sleep better.
Then, usually at this point in the interview, the giggling has commenced & there is nothing I can say to stop it. But while I’ve got your attention, it just isn’t as sexual as you pretend or imagine it is. Sometimes it might feel that way because, well, you’re spending an hour or two focusing on flesh & the human form, but it’s awfully abstracted because it is a class for study, not for finished works.
I’m on my spring break & have spend most of it in bed sick, so far. I guess I’m feeling more irritable than usual, but I honestly do wish this very serious part of art education weren’t so misunderstood by so many people.
It’s a lazy afternoon here. And I am thinking about Katie Morgan yet again. Katie and this oomphy babe known as Pamela Anderson. Pamela struck the world and me with her luscious curves that were shaped into her back in the form of a pair of delicious behinds. The moment she ran in Baywatch, several men – and me included – did not quite know what to do when her behind jigged from left to right and filled the television screen.
And then of course, the camera went up to settle on that oh-so-sexy pair of breasts. She had silicone in them – yes – but they suited her and many a times in my fantasies, I have had her in my bedroom next to me with those breasts nudging my hands… Such bliss, such satisfaction they did give. I wonder why she hasn’t done porn in the true sense of the word. I’d take a vacation for a week and watch her moan in bed…
Katie Morgan! Sigh! Those hips seduce your gaze into her behind. And from there, your eyes wander to her breasts – nice, proportionate and lusty breasts. These are breasts that ask to be suckled, to be made love to, to be bitten in ecstasy…
As for the navel, oh senora! It’s just a point from where I let my eyes travel down to her groin… (I have an erection as I am writing all this.) She must have been Aprodhite in mythical Greece. That vulva is one I’d love to grab, fondle, kiss, explore, suckle, thrust into…
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